the day jesus told me I look like his high school sweetheart.

He appeared out of nowhere. (Mad Jesus skills.)

I was hunched over Martin Lindstrom's buyology, frantically sipping on an iced latte and munching on McDonald's free Wi-Fi, checking my work email while trying to figure out where the hell I was. I mean, I was in Williamsburg, Brooklyn - I knew that much. But that borough is very unfamiliar territory to me. There are NO cabs in Brooklyn. Plenty of plaid shirts though.

Anyhow. All of the sudden he was standing there, looking all wise and holy (with a pair of brand new sneakers if I'm not mistaken?), saying I reminded him of high school and then he told me to 'keep doing what it is you do best, and if you need any help I'm always here' (See - Jesus!)

I smiled, thanked him and he walked up to the counter and ordered a burger. 'Lucky bastard' I thought, '...he could turn that burger into thousands if he wanted to'

I was writing an email to one of the guys whose apartment I was about to go view, then Jesus appeared again. This time he said: 'Excuse me, is that an important text you're sending?' I looked up, told him no, and put down my phone.

'I just wanted to tell you how much you remind me of this girl in high school, we went to prom together you see...' Jesus was smiling when he told me this story, but his eyes were sad (and a bit disoriented). I listened to his story like a good Christian, I mean, except that I'm an atheist - but no need to inform Jesus about my religious view. He finished his story, without revealing if it had a happy ending or not. Did he end up with his high school sweetheart? I don't think so. But I seemed to have brought Jesus a few moments of happy memories that Saturday afternoon in Brooklyn, which reminds us all, to put down our phones once in a while, shut the fuck up - and listen.