the day jesus told me I look like his high school sweetheart.

He appeared out of nowhere. (Mad Jesus skills.)

I was hunched over Martin Lindstrom's buyology, frantically sipping on an iced latte and munching on McDonald's free Wi-Fi, checking my work email while trying to figure out where the hell I was. I mean, I was in Williamsburg, Brooklyn - I knew that much. But that borough is very unfamiliar territory to me. There are NO cabs in Brooklyn. Plenty of plaid shirts though.

Anyhow. All of the sudden he was standing there, looking all wise and holy (with a pair of brand new sneakers if I'm not mistaken?), saying I reminded him of high school and then he told me to 'keep doing what it is you do best, and if you need any help I'm always here' (See - Jesus!)

I smiled, thanked him and he walked up to the counter and ordered a burger. 'Lucky bastard' I thought, '...he could turn that burger into thousands if he wanted to'

I was writing an email to one of the guys whose apartment I was about to go view, then Jesus appeared again. This time he said: 'Excuse me, is that an important text you're sending?' I looked up, told him no, and put down my phone.

'I just wanted to tell you how much you remind me of this girl in high school, we went to prom together you see...' Jesus was smiling when he told me this story, but his eyes were sad (and a bit disoriented). I listened to his story like a good Christian, I mean, except that I'm an atheist - but no need to inform Jesus about my religious view. He finished his story, without revealing if it had a happy ending or not. Did he end up with his high school sweetheart? I don't think so. But I seemed to have brought Jesus a few moments of happy memories that Saturday afternoon in Brooklyn, which reminds us all, to put down our phones once in a while, shut the fuck up - and listen.

so this is when i should shut up?

So let's make an average length story short and a mediocre plot exciting here, shall we?

I was offered full-time employment at the company where I'm currently interning. I was offered 25k a year plus a 5k bonus. One word popped into my head: what a fucking insult. Whoops! (That was four words.) I said no. I was offered 28k plus the 5k bonus. Seriously people? Have you not noticed me here? Putting in an absolute minimum of 10 hours a day. Working til 4am? Replying to work emails during the weekends? Are you guys seriously not realising my value here? I mean, I'm currently using about 75% of my abilities here, and they genuinely expect me to bring it all to the table for a handful of peanuts? You know what David Ogilvy said; if you pay peanuts, you'll get monkeys...

Our HR person was clearly pissed off when I brought this up (again) after I was granted my absolute minimum requirement: 30k plus the 5k bonus (a bonus only paid if I meet the expectations (?)). The immature little pisshead living inside of me (oi, come on now, we all have one) wanted nothing more than to say 'fuck you and good luck', take my belongings and leave the office immediately - the beauty of being an intern, you can do that shit.

But.

Instead. 

Instead I listened to her rant that was in no way related to my initial question (regarding the healthcare plan), and had to sit through a bunch of 'personal opinions' concerning my way of addressing the issue. An issue I had addressed from the very beginning - i.e I want to see all of the details of the healthcare plan and dental care  (JoJo, you're not in Europe anymore), bonus system etc. Even after having brought this up on several occasions, I never got a clear answer. Hence, I'll get cheeky. Hence, it could potentially piss people of (HR lady). 

If you're straightforward with me, I'm straightforward with you. If you're taking the piss. I'll double that piss.

So to summarise:

Did I sit there like a good girl, listened, nodded and said I understood? Yes.

Did I let her 'smooth things over' by asking me about travelling to Scandinavia and other bullshit? Yes.

Was I for one second not completely aware of what was happening? No.

Do I 100% trust these people? No.

Do I like these people? Yes.

Will I prove to be so freaking fantastic that they will feel utterly ashamed of their salary proposal? A million times over.

But here I am, in New York, as planned. With a job offer and colleagues that I actually like. And that was when I decided to shut the fuck up, sign the contract and get on with my life. 

One thing at a time.

several sunday postcards to pete.

Here are a few photos to further convince my 'brother from another mother' Pete that his decision to come to New York is not just the right decision, but the ONLY decision. In life.

And then we can run the New York Marathon Pete, like these poor bastards.

But if you don't want to do that, you can wait for me at the finnish line (see what I did there?) waving a Finnish flag like this guy:

Unfortunately, you'll get here in January so the weather will be shit. But it's still New York. And New York - is awesome.

a friday postcard to joe.

Not many people will get this post but I gotta look out for my fam soooo... this one is for you Pevans! Enjoy!

$1.99 smash and other life events.

So I've been fairly busy lately as I've started a second internship. That means I now have yet another person to try and impress. And I can tell you this - it's exhausting. More on that later though as there's been a shortage of images on this blog. So here you go, here are the main events in my life from the past two weeks:

I found smash for $1.99. Unreal. (It's the little things in life.)

I introduced the infamous '80's jacket' to the office. Always a win.

The Upper East Side went missing in a snow blizzard. So did our internet and my cell phone.

I was officially awarded a MSc in Design & Digital Media. That, dear readers, is a £6000 piece of paper. Graduation is on the 23rd, I shall be attending it virtually, watching the live stream of the ceremony and make overly witty comments (to myself).

As you can tell, my life isn't too exciting at the moment. This hunt for a visa sponsor is most certainly preventing me from making the most of New York City. However, I'm not here to fuck around, I'm here to do business. So do share if you have any exciting news, then I can live vicariously through you. I'll be eating my $1.99 smash and dreaming of visa sponsors until then!